The "Marriage Killer"?: Nagging?

The "Marriage Killer"?: Nagging?

divorce marriage

Is nagging the cause of the problem or is there something that causes the nagging? Do guys ignore requests because they don't care or do women nag because they want a certain level of control? From the WSJ:

Nagging can become a prime contributor to divorce when couples start fighting about the nagging rather than talking about the issue at the root of the nagging, says Howard Markman, professor of psychology at the University of Denver and co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies. For 30 years, Dr. Markman has researched conflict and communication in relationships and offered relationship counseling and marriage seminars. He says that while all couples deal with nagging at some point, those who learn to reduce this type of negative communication will substantially increase their odds of staying together and keeping love alive. Couples who don't learn often fall out of love and split up.

Research that Dr. Markman published in 2010 in the Journal of Family Psychology indicates that couples who became unhappy five years into their marriage had a roughly 20% increase in negative communication patterns consistent with nagging, and a 12% decrease in positive communication. "Nagging is an enemy of love, if allowed to persist," Dr. Markman says.

The good news: Couples can learn to stop nagging. Early in their marriage, Ms. Pfeiffer, now 62, repeatedly reminded her husband about household tasks and became more demanding when he ignored her. "If I was asking him to take care of something that mattered to me and he was blowing me off, that made me feel like I didn't matter," she says. . . .

Divorce rates higher for people in jobs that help people or touches them

Divorce rates higher for people in jobs that help people or touches them

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This makes some sense. Jobs that involve helping others or touching them facilitate emotional relationships with someone other than your spouse.

If your spouse helps people or touches them for a living, be careful -- you might be headed for a divorce. Helping professions and hospitality workers have some of the highest divorce rates in the country, according to a comparison of divorce rates among occupations.
The conventional wisdom is that police officers have high divorce rates. But a year-old analysis of the top 15 jobs with the highest divorce rate that recently made the rounds of the Internet doesn't even list police officers among the worst offenders. Based on data from the 2000 U.S. Census, it found that law enforcement workers had a lower divorce rate than the general population.
Before we try to explain why some of these jobs might have high divorce rates, here are the top 15 professions and their divorce rates . . .

Dennis Hopper, gun owner, in a messy divorce

Dennis Hopper, gun owner, in a messy divorce

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Dennis Hopper really seems to be having a rough go of things, with cancer and a divorce both occurring at the same time. I feel sorry for him. One thing that I found interesting was his soon to be ex-wife's attacking on him for owning guns in the home.

Duffy shot back at her husband with claims that he often smoked pot, watched adult-themed shows on television in Galen’s presence and kept loaded guns in the house where she could potentially get to them. She also requested that the court ensure she is financially well taken care of should Hopper die before the divorce is finalized, given that their pre-nuptial agreement as it stands would leave her with very little of the actor’s earnings.

The cost of divorce

The cost of divorce

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The BBC has this:

Divorce has a lingering, detrimental impact on health that even remarriage cannot fully repair, a study suggests.

A Chicago study involving 8,652 people aged 51 to 61 found divorced people have 20% more chronic illnesses such as cancer than those who never marry.

The figure only drops to 12% for those who remarry, researchers write in the Journal of Health and Social Behaviour. . . . .

Getting married to someone from a different country or religion increases risks of divorce

Getting married to someone from a different country or religion increases risks of divorce

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The article can be found here:

Abstract

A textbook hypothesis about divorce is that heterogamous marriages are more likely to end in divorce than homogamous marriages. We analyse vital statistics on the population of the Netherlands, which provide a unique and powerful opportunity to test this hypothesis. All marriages formed between 1974 and 1984 (nearly 1 million marriages) are traced in the divorce records and multivariate logistic regression models are used to analyse the effects on divorce of heterogamy in religion and national origin. Our analyses confirm the hypothesis for marriages that cross the Protestan/Catholic or the Jewis/Gentile boundary. Heterogamy effects are weaker for marriages involving Protestants or unaffiliated persons. Marriages between Dutch and other nationalities have a higher risk of divorce, the more so the greater the cultural differences between the two groups. Overall, the evidence supports the view that, in the Netherlands, new group boundaries are more difficult to cross than old group boundaries.

Living Together First Raises Probability of Divorce

Living Together First Raises Probability of Divorce

divorce Research

I have real questions about this study and whether it accounts for whether those who lived together first were different, but still the results are interesting.

Couples who shack up before tying the knot are more likely to get divorced than their counterparts who don't move in together until marriage, a new study suggests.

Upwards of 70 percent of U.S. couples are cohabiting these days before marrying, the researchers estimate.

The study, published in the February issue of the Journal of Family Psychology, indicates that such move-ins might not be wise.

And it's not because you start to get on one another's nerves. Rather, the researchers figure the shared abode could lead to marriage for all the wrong reasons.

"We think that some couples who move in together without a clear commitment to marriage may wind up sliding into marriage partly because they are already cohabiting," said lead researcher Galena Rhoades of the University of Denver. . . . .